Turn arguments into intimacy
Many marriages suffer simply from lack of information, some from the absence of new ideas, and others, born in naiveté, from lack of coaching and support. We know the pain and suffering that wives, husbands and children in unhappy marriages experience. Marriages, like healthy gardens, require a good deal of intelligent attention and support. We know blame doesn't work. Also, punishment, withdrawal, attacks, verbal abuse, coldness, self-righteousness, and resignation all only make an unhappy situation worse.
Many marriages no longer sing. From a wedding high – a Strauss march perhaps, or a tender Sinatra love song or maybe their beginnings sounded like a beautiful hymn sang in an ancient temple, or maybe it was 60s rock and roll – from that high they slowly descended into silence. Some marriages became a series of groans, some live in the blues.