Marriage Voice

Many time people consider Divorce when they really ought to learn how to end (divorce) the stale and worn out agreement they have called marriage...

Many marriages end before they begin. They abort the promises made at the alter of commitment. Divorce is an attempt to solve complex problems by means of a simple yet profoundly invasive surgery.

But if you rethink what marriage is really about, you'll discover a deeper and more profound truth. Marriage is a choice to build a partnership over time. You might think of a partnership as a container meant to hold two people in relationship while they each, in their own unique way, grow. Thinking of marriage in this way opens to thinking of marriage as a fundamental piece in community building as well as community healthfulness.

Marriage holds within it huge possibilities for personal growth – including, but not limited to: increasing your capacity to listen to someone you love; articulating complex feelings / thinkings; shaping your personal vision in partnership with someone else's vision; learning to embrace conflict.

We speak of conflict as a golden road to intimate connection. It can also be the catalyst for 'irreconcilable differences.' Conflict is a natural consequence of individuals growing and changing. Conflict is our noticing that something's different, something's not quite 'right,' something's changed. If we think that that something is in our partner, and if we believe that it's a change in their love that is causing the something – then a series of conversations is going to take place leading to conflict. Conflict is the noticing of the changes we believe are happening and those changes are out of our control.

A favorite scene in the Wizard of Oz has Dorothy confronting the Wizard. "You're a fraud" she says after Toto has knocked down the screen separating him from the four adventurers. "No I'm not" he replies. "I'm simply trying to help.."